Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
40s are totally the cure
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize