Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
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