I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
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I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
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THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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