Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
