did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
