Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
