I wannas sexs uuuuu
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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