They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
