pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
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