just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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