Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
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