Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
