Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
