im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
