Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
