what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
