How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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