His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
so let's talk penis.
These 23 People Had Sex With Someone From Completely Different Cultures
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
25 Medical Facts That Need To Be Common Knowledge
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT