But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
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And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
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We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me