Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(301): View more from Maryland

remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school

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(301): remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school http://tfl.nu/dith

Replies (36) Good night (3446) Bad night (680)
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(401): View more from Rhode Island

okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.

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(401): okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly. http://tfl.nu/8lsw

Replies (20) Good night (4514) Bad night (1278)
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(206): View more from Washington

puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds

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(206): puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds http://tfl.nu/vlbj

Replies (36) Good night (970) Bad night (4460)
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(240): View more from Maryland

were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?

(301): View more from Maryland

yes! wait why?

(240): View more from Maryland

because i found it in my pocket this morning...

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(240): were you wearing a green and blue thong last night? (301): yes! wait why? (240): because i found it in my pocket this morning... http://tfl.nu/rs9c

Replies (39) Good night (11588) Bad night (980)
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(778): View more from British Columbia

working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.

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(778): working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out. http://tfl.nu/5n9v

Replies (37) Good night (989) Bad night (6468)
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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night

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(724): I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night http://tfl.nu/leh0

Replies (6) Good night (4836) Bad night (925)
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(616): View more from Michigan

He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.

(1-616): View more from Michigan

Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!

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(616): He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science. (1-616): Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world! http://tfl.nu/0fvx

Replies (10) Good night (5173) Bad night (983)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.

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(919): He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great. http://tfl.nu/il4g

Replies (4) Good night (2556) Bad night (1130)
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(304): View more from West Virginia

The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.

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(304): The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man. http://tfl.nu/dffi

Replies (17) Good night (938) Bad night (2605)
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(585): View more from New York

So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?

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(585): So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar? http://tfl.nu/e57l

Replies (9) Good night (1372) Bad night (722)
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(516): View more from New York

1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.

(516): View more from New York

By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.

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(516): 1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model. (516): By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method. http://tfl.nu/fz41

Replies (28) Good night (2562) Bad night (927)
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(908): View more from New Jersey

I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows

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(908): I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows http://tfl.nu/eaw6

Replies (5) Good night (1799) Bad night (630)
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(325): View more from Texas

My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious

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(325): My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious http://tfl.nu/543t

Replies (2) Good night (808) Bad night (456)
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(818): View more from California

Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?

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(818): Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!? http://tfl.nu/7lwx

Replies (8) Good night (565) Bad night (358)
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(512): View more from Texas

He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.

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(512): He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me. http://tfl.nu/p4r4

Replies (1) Good night (285) Bad night (623)

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