How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Randomize
