i just google imaged poop.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.