Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.