don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
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This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.