A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.