it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
21 Bartenders That Are Definitely Winning At Their Jobs
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon