God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
