if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
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