I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
