why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
