problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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