I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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