Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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