You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
