Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
