you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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