Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
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