so explain again why im purple
no
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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