You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Randomize
