Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
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Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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