its not stalking. its research.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize