And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
