How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize