There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
