I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Randomize
