i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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