Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
