Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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