Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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