p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
