You don't have asthma, your pregnant
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
