So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
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