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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize