belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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