I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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