great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I wish I only lived at night.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
