i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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