We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize