and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Randomize
