i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize