Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
