Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
We need to feng shui this bitch.
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