dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
