no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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